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Everything takes forever
framedinlove's journal
In memory of Peter Steele 
24th-Apr-2010 10:04 pm

I can't lose you
I can't lose you
No I can't lose you
I can't lose you
(Type O Negative - Can't Lose You)

It's been a week now since I learned about Type O Negative's Peter Steele's death, and I am still in utter shock. I want it not to be true. I want the world to stop playing this awful prank on us so that I can stop tearing up every other second. So that this bloody ache inside of me would go away. And first and foremost so that Peter would still be here with us being his impeccable self and writing music like no one else.

I - I think I'd somehow naively lulled myself into thinking that he would always be there. Took him to be made of steel even though he constantly reminded us that he wasn't.

No, why? Oh God I miss you
No, why? Oh God I miss you
I really miss you
(Type O Negative - Everything Dies)

For 12 years Peter and Type O Negative have been my bedrock, my safe haven and my safety net - solid, unwavering, endlessly kind and patient. Their music has helped me through some of the worst times of my life and soundtracked many of the best. I felt like every note and riff and rhyme in their music told me this:

If you fall, I will catch you
When you're lost, I'll be there soon
Far away, but of course near
When you're sad, I'm always here
(Type O Negative - Nettie)

Peter was an amazing musician with one of the most glorious voices in the history of ever. I loved him as a lyricist, too - he was so versatile and being it a heart-breakingly beautiful or a painfully insightful or a totally tongue in cheek funny lyric he always managed to affect me. And he always meant what he said. He had a sarcastic, self-deprecating sense of humor that I absolutely adored, and without which this world is going to be a much bleaker place. And yeah, he was gorgeous, too. Like a titan in his prime, towering over everyone. Talented, smart, funny and beautiful, he was all that and more, and yet he thought so little of himself. Just thinking about that breaks my heart.

48 years seems so awfully, unfairly short time for him to have had in this world. There should have been at least 48 years more. And the fact that it was his heart that failed him, that he died of a broken heart - it just makes something inside me die, too.

It's better to burn
quickly and bright
Than slowly and dull
without a fight
(Type O Negative - World Coming Down)

Thank you, Peter, for everything. I love you and I miss you.

All the gifs and graphics and screencapping and color abusing by me. My apologies.
All the actual substance in this post by Peter Steele and Type O Negative.

Black No. 1

Christian Woman

My Girlfriend's Girlfriend

Love You To Death

Everything Dies

Peter used to say that his ass was his best side so let's take a moment to appreciate that. Because I don't think Peter would've wanted us to turn into ridiculous sobbing messes
(like I've done) and this makes me smile through the tears. That's real (bad)assery right there, bitch!


There are a few videos and loads of animated gifs behind the cut, so I guess it's not exactly dial-up friendly in there.
forever [peter]
24th-Apr-2010 07:45 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you and others who loved his music lost him :(
Life is majorly unfair sometimes. Big time. I know you have all those memories that his music is connected to...Maybe at some point the good memories will overshadow this lost. *hugs so very tight*
24th-Apr-2010 08:34 pm (UTC)
*snuggles into your hug and clings to you desperately for a while* Thank you. I'm totally tearing up, once again, and your kind words are most highly appreciated. *hugs again*

It really is. And hate it. Life should be fair. Or at least fairer. But it isn't, and I'm having trouble accepting that. It just frustrates and saddens the living hell out of me that the people who suffer the most always seem to be the people who least deserve it.

Yeah. Maybe. I mean, it has to, right? I just feel so lost right now. But I'm sure you're right. With time one learns to...I don't know, live with loss and pain and heartache? Gah. You're speaking so wisely and I'm just angsting my ass off. *takes a deep breath* Anyway, what I know with absolute certainty is that I'm so very grateful to have all those memories. I wouldn't give them up for the world.
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